Abortion Rant!

When I think about abortion, I stop to think "what if I was that woman?"

...which leads to the following...

Me: "Oh gods, what's this hideous parasite growing inside me... it's making my stomach swell... this isn't natural!!!!"

Pro-Lifer: "It's an unborn baby... what could be more natural? Isn't it a wonderful miracle of life?"

Me: "NO! It's making me feel gods-awful... WHAT?! This thing is going to grow to the size of a PERSON?!?! GETITOUTOFME,
NOW!!!!"

Pro-Lifer: "No! That would be immoral, and an act of murder."

Me: "Better it than me!!"

Pro-Lifer: "That's not your choice to make... it's God's choice."

Me: "Who the hell are you to speak for God?!?!"

Pro-Lifer: "Well it says in the Bible..."

Me: "Does the word 'abortion' appear anywhere in your little book?"

Pro-Lifer: *flip, flip, flip* "No, but..."

Me: Then SCREW YOU! Where's that damn suction hose?"

Pro-Lifer: "It's too late for that... we've been talking so long you've reached the third trimester, and partial-birth abortion is
inhumane and ILLEGAL!" *smirks*

Me: F YOU! *glares*

Pro-Lifer: *Smiles, happily reading Bible*

Me: *giving birth* "OH GODS!!! It's tearing me open!!! You wanted me to die!!!"

Baby: "WAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"

Pro-Lifer: "Look at your beautiful child! Aren't you glad you decided to bring it into this world?"

Me: "Somebody make that ugly thing shut the F up!"

Baby: "WAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"

Pro-Lifer: "How can you say that about YOUR OWN CHILD?"

Me: "I DIDN'T WANT A BABY!!!"

Baby: "WAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"

Pro-Lifer: "You don't really mean that?! If you did, you'd have had the abortion right away!!"

Me: *glares*

Baby: "WAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"

Pro-Lifer: "Besides, this child is a Gift From God!! Would you reject God's Gift to you??"

Me: "You know what? If you care about this child SO MUCH, you can KEEP IT!!!" *Throws whining newborn at pro-life freak*

Baby: "WAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"

Pro-Lifer: *runs away*

(Ever notice how those pro-life folks are so eager for OTHER PEOPLE to have kids?)