http://www.crocs.com/Aiiee! What pills did the inventors of these drop before they went to the drawing board? Words like "awful", "hideous", and "eyesore" don't even begin to approach the depths of the hideousness of these things! These cheap plastic clogs can be found on racks in nearly every drugstore and Wal-Mart. They're so popular, they've even got a nickname, "crocs". So heady are the "crocs" with their success, you can even buy accessories for them, little jewelry-like "jibbitz" to uglify them even more! (Seriously, jibbitz for your crocs? Since when did a pair of shoes have its own language? Since cheap plastic clogs began, that's when!)
Being so widespread is not a measure of success! When was the last time you bought a decent pair of shoes in a drugstore? Remember the old adage: "You get what you pay for"? There is simply no combination of clothes these shoes from Fashion Hell will match with. Coming in eye-searing pastel yellows, blues, reds, and hot pink, they are guaranteed to clash with any outfit and draw attention to your feet just as surely as if you set them on fire! I've seen girls in bright, neon-colored clothes, and their crocs are ten times as loud in comparison. Not even swirling tie-dyes can compete with the sheer loudness of the colors of these nasties! Adding jibbitz only makes the crocs worse! To put it in perspective, adding warts to a toad does not make it any less ugly... quite the contrary.
Now, I've heard some people consider them children's shoes, think they look c
ute on the little tykes.No, NO, NO!
They do not, under any circumstances look good on anyone! That includes children! Not even fitting them to a little kid's feet will make these things palatable... to the contrary, put crocs on your child, and whatever charm and cuteness your child might have is drowned out by the blazing neon hideousness of their footwear! I suspect the real reason for putting crocs on your kids would be to have pictures of them you can use to embarrass them as teenagers. That would have to qualify as a form of child cruelty! I shudder to think of the rise in teenage suicide rates that will occur when the croc-wearing generation matures... Please, for the love of God, show some decency towards you children and buy them some real shoes!
Last, but not least, if there are any adult crocs-wearers present, I have to add that their only possible redeeming quality, how "comfortable" they're said to be, does not qualify as justification for wearing such a hideous monstrosity! For casual, free and comfortable footwear, what was ever so wrong with flip-flops? A closed shoe, even with ridiculous looking airholes, cannot ever be as "free" as a sandal. Even neon-colored flip-flops beat out crocs any day. Flip-flops make you look like you're ready for the beach... crocs make you look like a clown with worn-out shoes! I take that back: no self-respecting circus clown would ever be caught wearing crocs! Even at their apparent purpose, as beach shoes, crocs are an abysmal faliure. Why would you ever wear these on the sand, when you could just slip them off and wade barefoot in the surf? I mean, isn't that the whole point of going to the beach? If the only shoes made on the planet were crocs, I would go barefoot, even in the dead of winter! I mean that, wholeheartedly!
There is no justification for even the mere existence of crocs! Wearing them is a high crime of fashion! If you spot anyone seen wearing them, please do your civic duty and make a citizen's arrest in the name of the fashion police on the spot!
Remember: Just say NO to crocs!
BTW- This website is awesome!
http://ihatecrocsblog.blogspot.com/
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